Helicopter Page 6

Months passed after we finally arrived in the countryside of Cambodia. Every day was the same, we had to work from when the sun rose to when the sun set. The differences between today and the beginning of this horrible new society were that the food portions kept getting smaller and the death count kept growing larger.

  Waking up this morning, I felt my belly grumble for head similar to every other day. I haven’t eaten full or good meal ever since we came. From the start of the small bowl of porridge with salt it slowly became a few spoonful of porridge. Right now, my body was small, skinny; the bones in my body were showing with clarity. A mile away you could see the rib cages due to the low amount of food that we eat daily.

  As my daily routine, I woke up at around 4:00 in the morning, before the sun even rose. I had to wake up this early in order to fetch water from the far away river for my family to wash their bodies and drink. My feet were covered in blisters due to the amount of walking I had to do every day from morning to night. Walking to the river this early, the sky was still dark. I had to walk through the dark forest and through a commentary which was the place of thousands of deaths. Everyday piles of bodies would continue to stagger on this one location, rising up. Hundreds of people died every day due to starvation, disease, torture, or killings if they were traitor to this society. Walking through the forest I could hear the sound of rustling of the leaves and the wind howling throughout. Looking left and right, I tried to make sure I wasn’t seen or caught by any of the guards. Doing this every day was dangerous due to the fact that if I was caught at any moment they would consider me a traitor to the society. I would then be killed or even worse tortured until death. The worst part about this would be that the fact my family would also get blamed for my actions and they too would be sent to jail in order to face death. Everyone who was related to each other would all be sent to jail with no reason other than they were a ‘traitor’. We all had to be responsible for our actions, so everyone had to watch out every second of the day. When going through the forest to the river, I would always follow a specific pattern of trees in order to find my way.

  When I first started going to the river, I would get lost along the way. In order to find my way back home, I would have to rely on my instinct and to follow the smell of fresh fruit. Our house was near one of the commander’s houses, so it was always filled with food. When this society meant equality, I didn’t expect it to mean that the leaders of the revolution would be well fed, while the workers were left to starve and work every minute of their lives. Living here was torture itself, you couldn’t do what you wanted to do, you couldn’t eat any more than given, and you were forced to live by their rules.

  When I finally got to the river, the walk was about 8-10 kilometers. It took me about an hour to get there by running. By the time I was there, the sun was already rising and I knew I had limited time to fetch the water in the bucket that I brought with me. I rushed to get to the river and took a quick swim washing away the dirt from yesterday. The river water was cool and refreshing; I could feel the nice blow of the wind as I emerged myself in the water. Even though the water itself wasn’t clear, the water was still good enough to use for water to drink if heated or water for cleansing. Although, since I had many cuts around my body, the water burned my skin, but it still felt refreshing from working the day before. After a quick five minute swim I went back up and scooped up a bucket of water for home. The bucket with the water was around one to two kilos heavy. I had to use both my hands in order to carry the bucket around and considering I had to walk back 8-10 kilometers, every morning I was already very tired. The only thing that kept me going and motivated was that it was to help my family. I would do anything for anyone in my family from my dad to Ping; I would help them all especially considering the conditions we were in. While carrying the bucket back, I tried my best to make sure none of the water spilled out of the bucket, I didn’t want to waste any of my effort going back and forth from the river to home.

  Minutes going back home from the river, I heard a rustling in the forest, my head quickly turned back and forth scanning the area. I then heard a loud gunshot and some noises talking to each other. Looking closely I saw the feet of multiple men, remembering the clothing, there were guards who occasionally walk through the forest to stop anyone escaping or getting food and water just like myself. I quickly grabbed the bucket and rushed over to get behind a large tree. I started breathing heavily as I realized this could be the end of my life, I could die here and have everyone in my family go to prison for accompanying a traitor. Sweat rolled down face and on to the floor, and I started panting. My heart was racing as the sounds of the voices grew larger. They were coming closer to me and I didn’t know what to do. I looked up at the sky and prayed that the guards wouldn’t check behind this tree. I then closed my eyes, got down on my knees, and tried to stay as still as I could.

  The leaves rustled once again, and the footsteps were becoming more distant. The guards voiced started to lower and the shackling of the guns were stopped. I took a deep breath and slowly peeked my head out from the tree. First I looked left, and then I turned my head to look right. Nobody was there, it was just me once again as the guards had left my area. I had a slight laugh to myself and a small smile, “I survived.” I whispered to myself.

  I then got up and continued walking back home, but this time my movements were quicker trying to avoid the same incident that had just occurred. I looked at my bucket filled with water and realized that some of the water had spilled when I was hiding; I shook my head and rushed home.

  When I got back the sun was rising and it was almost time to begin work in the fields once again. I brought the bucket of water to my family and they were happy to see me come back home. They are always like this every day since they know that every time I go to the river, I am risking my life out there. My mom got the water and went to heat some up in order to be used for drinking, while Lynn and Sophea got the rest of the water left to be used to be the clothes and to take a quick shower if there was any water left. The time to go to work was coming soon and we were all starting to get prepared. I wore the same black set of clothing that I usually wear every day and went out to my camp. The camp is the name they use for the fields as they say it is for working and educating the young. However, I know this is true since they are just using our strength and our youth to farm while they sit back and enjoy watching us work and relax. The society of equality isn’t what it is said to be, there is a clear distinction between us and the leaders. Even the soldiers are treated better than us; we are treated worse than animals. The chickens, cows, and pigs are all fed well, while we are fed barely a minimum to survive. With no nutrients, sugar, or protein, many people are at the last tread for food and are at the line of starvation.

  When I got to the camp, it was around 6:30 in the morning, the sun was already rising and I saw the other teenagers looking tired and hungry as ever. Most of them looked hopeless just waiting for the next day to finish while others looked dead physically and mentally. I was one of them who looked hopeless just working until the day ended. I went to get the shovel and continued digging through the dirt, this was the main part of what we were doing while another group of teenagers were farming and planting the rice in order to harvest new rice to eat. Even if we were to supply the country with as much rice as they needed, we knew that in the end we would still only get a tiny amount to eat while the superiors would get as much as they asked for. The work was tiring as the hot sun and dry air made it hard to breathe and work in. Yesterday it rained, and the holes that we had dug were covered in mud and rain water. When stepping our feet would sink to the ground up to our ankles as the mud was still soft.

  Whenever it rains, many people get sick from the mud and worms start to grow in their stomach due to the horrible conditions. I hit the hole with my shovel and a splash of mud and water hit my face. The ground was black and was mixed in with washed up leaves and grass. Today was a much tiring day than usual since we had to clean
up the mess the rain had done the day before by digging up the mud and planting the rice seeds once again.

  Two hours later it was time for our first break. The food today consisted of the same thing of five spoons of porridge in our one plate. I finished the food in under a minute and was still craving for more, but as usual we couldn’t ask for more or we would be beaten or at the most extreme, could have been killed for asking. When I finished with my food, I looked at the corner of my eye to see one kid fall right on his back on to the floor. His eyes were closed and he wasn’t breathing. The soldiers came in and picked him off the floor and disappeared with the body. This was usual during these times as most kids aren’t able to have energy to work with just small amount of porridge. The boy died on the floor, looking lifeless, as I could see the bones of his body though his black shirt. It was a horrendous sight that I have to witness every day.

  After our break had abruptly ended by the sounds of soldiers, we were all rushed back to the fields to continue working. Again, for multiple hours we did the same task over and over again. We couldn’t talk to anyone; we couldn’t do anything other than dig and plant. The repeated work was dull and tiring as it required our arm muscles and leg muscles in order to successfully harvest the crops or to plow the dirt with our brute strength. Even though I had done this for months, I had not gain any muscle due to the fact that every day was starvation and lack of sleep.

  Another break happened when the sun was going down and as usual we were given the same food once again. It was just five spoons of porridge on the plate. Then the same event happened, another kid fell to the floor, dying of starvation. The soldiers just picked the kid up as if he was trash and brought him away. It was as if the soldiers thought we were disposable and reusable as they did not give a care in the world if we were hungry, exhausted, or sick. We had to work no matter our health conditions, no matter how much energy we had left. If we didn’t follow what they commanded, we were killed. It is a brutal thing to happen when I saw the kid gets hit with a whip until blood starts dripping on the floor creating a dark red puddle. It is horrible when I heard the sounds of death and cries of pain coming from someone right next to me, but you can’t help. I could smell the foul odor of rotten corpses in the fields creating an aroma I couldn’t get out from. The worst part of all is that I can still imagine and have an image of this in my mind wherever I go, I can’t forget the thought of death when I see it every day.

  When the work finally ended at night time when the moon rose and the sun fell, we were all tired once again. However, my work wasn’t done, every night I have to sneak out of my home to risk my life and gather food for my family. Since I am the smallest and more capable than Ping, I was the only one suitable for going out in night. I went to the forest and to the cemetery where no soldier goes due to the fact of the dead corpses lying around. In the cemetery there is a great amount of insects lying around that can be used for food for example grasshoppers and crickets. Even since I was forced into the point of starvation, I had to become more independent, I had to face my fears. The fear that I had of insects had to be removed because i had no other choice, I had to live with them; I had to eat them if I wanted to survive. I trained myself and tried my hardest ever since the beginning to never get scared of bugs in my entire life, they are harmless, and they save me from death.

  Out at night, I am extra-cautious because if any soldiers were to catch me, I would’ve been killed. It was a life and death situation, a risk of my life every night to gather extra food. Not only would this but occasionally I go to the nearby farms where they have chickens and try to steal the chicken eggs while the soldiers are guarding the farm house. This was the most dangerous part since when near the barn I was very close to the guards and had only one chance to take the eggs when they weren’t looking. The final way I could get more food for my family would be through fishing. It is illegal in this society to gather fish in the ponds, lakes, or river, so I could only do it at night. During this time the sky is cold, and the water is cold, the weather conditions are harsh and I only have a limited time to fish every night. Some days I take a risk to go fishing as if I don’t return back with fresh fish; my family would be starving that day.

  When I finally gathered the insects and stole only one of the chicken eggs that I could find, I ran back home trying to hide from all the soldiers. I walked past the cemetery filled with decomposing corpses and skeletons of past Cambodians and through the eerie air. I could hear the crickets and wind blowing in the dark starry night. I brought the food back to my family late at night around midnight and they enjoyed a nice meal of rice and egg with a side of fried crickets. Everyone in the family thanked me for the food and the risk I took to gather more food during the night. Some days I am lucky to bring back food, others I have none leftover and none to feed them.

  Last Words